geoffcmills

"This site is my dent in the universe - doing my part to help the world deal with its differences constructively, rather than destructively."

VIDEOS

A handful of helpful videos about keeping conversations right-side-up, connecting with your audience through empathy, and including the outsiders in your life.

RESPECT, THEN UNDERSTAND, THEN DEBATE

Learn how to build right-side-up conversations by starting with respect, seeking to understand, and then debating the issue.

MAYBE WHAT’S MISSING IS EMPATHY

Discover the power of using empathy with your audience. Move from individual goals and interests to shared goals and interests.

THREE WAYS TO BE MORE INCLUSIVE

Watch my conference talk about treating the outsiders in our lives like insiders. Find the humility to let go of stereotypes, the courage to stop exclusion when it’s happening, and the ability to use words that everyone can understand.

BLOG

Outer circle of acceptance and inner circle of agreement

WHERE YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU DISAGREE

One frequently-asked question about how to handle differences is: How do I respectfully maintain my own convictions when I disagree with someone? This question arises from two common fears. To help overcome these either/or fears, I offer this both/and model.

Read more...
Cover art that mimics the book by a similar title

7 HABITS OF HIGHLY ANNOYING PEOPLE, AND HOW NOT TO BE ONE OF THEM

Ever wonder how certain people climbed the ladder to become so successfully annoying? Well, simply build these seven habits into your daily life, and you, too, can become a highly annoying person.

Read more...
Blackboard showing an algebra problem worked out

HOW SHOWING YOUR WORK GETS YOU TOP MARKS IN LIFE, NOT JUST MATH

Show your work. This is undoubtedly my wife’s and my most consistent message to our boys about their math homework. They often cite cruel and unusual punishment as their pushback. (That’ll teach us to educate them on the U.S. Constitution and its Amendments.)

Read more...
Picture of a car dashboard showing low fuel warning

MIND THE FUEL LIGHT – RECOGNIZE DIFFERENT PERCEPTIONS

At the end of June, my wife, Amy, and I had the opportunity to facilitate a workshop called Across Lines of Difference. In that workshop, we fostered a conversation about improving how we deal with differences in our families, workplaces, churches, and communities. One story that Amy and I shared was from a memorable experience when we learned that the same exact event can illicit two very different responses.

Read more...
An image showing the word outsider outside the circle labeled insider

WHY I DON'T DELETE PEOPLE FROM MY ADDRESS BOOK WHEN THEY DIE

Not long after my mom died, she called me. I about dropped my phone. I was so shocked to see her name on the screen. RING. I miss you so much, Mom. I wish this could really be you. RING. It can’t be you. Somebody else must have your phone!

Read more...
An upside-down pyramid that's falling over because it hinges on debate

RESPECT, UNDERSTAND, AND DEBATE -- GET THE ORDER RIGHT

There are 7,428,901,356 humans alive on planet Earth (plus or minus a few tens of millions). As a collection of people we are radically diverse in every conceivable way: food and financials, generation and gender, politics and pastimes, race and religion, sociality and sexuality. The dimensions of our differences are virtually endless.

Read more...

TALKS

RADICAL INCLUSION

Dare to be different. Become a radical includer like Jesus.

Vineyard Church Peoria

October 25, 2020

LIVING IN KINGDOM TENSION

The forces of good and evil are always in tension with one another. How we choose to live in that tension matters.

Vineyard Church Peoria

August 11, 2019

WISDOM FOR CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

Disagreements can be challenging, but we’re not alone. There are many resources we can draw upon to help us.

Vineyard Church Peoria

June 30, 2019

LEAD ME THROUGH TROUBLING TIMES

When times are tough, we can find solace in unexpected places.

Vineyard Church Peoria

May 27, 2018

RESPECT, UNDERSTAND, DEBATE - GET THE ORDER RIGHT

The importance of building conversations right-side-up, starting with respect, then understanding, building a strong foundation for any debate.

Vineyard Church Peoria

August 13, 2017

KUDOS

Hey Geoff, that relational finger print article you wrote gave me the push I needed to start my Beachbody coaching business (which I am loving and feeling fulfilled in) and I just appreciate that you put this content out there!!

Laura A, wife, mom, and wellness coach

Geoff's keen insights, practical encouragements, and gentle challenges have been consistently helpful to our church family in the number of different venues where he has taught, coached, and preached.

Ben H, lead pastor and communicator

What do you get when you weave together an engineer, a poet, and a musician? You get a clear, deep, and colorful carpet called Geoff Mills. I bear witness and am grateful for the beauty and precision of Geoff's words and message. It is a pleasure to experience what he offers during our quarterly writing retreats at The Seasons.

Ron S, director of The Seasons retreat

Hey Geoff, I love the insights you share. They are always insightful, respectful, and needed in today’s world.

Dale H, educator, writer, musician, and IT guy

SUBSCRIBE

Sign up for my free newsletter. I share new videos, podcasts, articles, and helpful links. I only send a handful of newsletters a year, so I promise you won't get spammed.

* indicates required

CONTACT

Picture of Geoff C Mills with glasses, folding hands

I'd love to hear from you. Whether you'd like to set up a workshop, schedule a speaking engagement, request copyright permissions, or just get in touch.

EMAIL ME

ABOUT

Geoff C Mills with glasses and folded hands

I am a product development leader for a joint venture between Caterpillar and Trimble. For the past couple decades, I've led highly diverse teams with people from all over the world. We've achieved together what we could never have achieved alone. Over that time, I've also been an active part of the Vineyard church movement in the US. I'm passionate about helping people live their best lives by getting the most from interpersonal differences. I live with my wife, Amy, and our three boys in Peoria, Illinois.

LEARN MORE

CREDITS

I could never fully express my gratitude to these people who helped me create this site, but more importantly, helped me believe that it was worth doing. It takes a village to do anything worthwhile. And these are the people in my village.

AMANDA SCHETZ :: Making my hair look professional and even well-behaved

AMY MILLS :: Keen design aesthetic and relentless encouragement

BEN HOERR :: Modeling a life of consistent writing and encouraging me in mine

CADEN MILLS :: Hand-drawn iconography and willingness to try new things with me

CHRISTINA ROBERTS :: Coaching that kept me chipping away at my goals, rather than my goals chipping away at me

DALE HEINOLD :: Reaching so many people with his writing and sharing tips and tricks with me

EMILY at STITCH FIX :: Helping me completely revamp my wardrobe to match who I am now (not who I was 20 years ago)

NATHAN PETERSON :: Being all-in with his writing all the time and making me want to do the same

NORM AND SUE ARBUCKLE :: Reading everything I write and telling me what they like and why

RACHEL BEAN PHOTOGRAPHY :: Using her skill with a camera to perfectly capture the essence of what I do

RON AND JEANNIE SEARS :: Hosting quarterly writing retreats at The Seasons Retreat, without which I would not have done much, if any, writing

SAM MANGIERI :: Sam at Fiat Films brings his cinematic story-telling skills to life through the videos we create together

SCOTT SPULER :: Giving me invaluable web consulting and technical support from Onehat