geoffcmills
"This site is my dent in the universe - doing my part to help the world deal with its differences constructively, rather than destructively."
VIDEOS
A handful of helpful videos about keeping conversations right-side-up, connecting with your audience through empathy, and including the outsiders in your life.
RESPECT, THEN UNDERSTAND, THEN DEBATE
Learn how to build right-side-up conversations by starting with respect, seeking to understand, and then debating the issue.
MAYBE WHAT’S MISSING IS EMPATHY
Discover the power of using empathy with your audience. Move from individual goals and interests to shared goals and interests.
THREE WAYS TO BE MORE INCLUSIVE
Watch my conference talk about treating the outsiders in our lives like insiders. Find the humility to let go of stereotypes, the courage to stop exclusion when it’s happening, and the ability to use words that everyone can understand.
BLOG
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU DISAGREE
One frequently-asked question about how to handle differences is: How do I respectfully maintain my own convictions when I disagree with someone? This question arises from two common fears. To help overcome these either/or fears, I offer this both/and model.
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7 HABITS OF HIGHLY ANNOYING PEOPLE, AND HOW NOT TO BE ONE OF THEM
Ever wonder how certain people climbed the ladder to become so successfully annoying? Well, simply build these seven habits into your daily life, and you, too, can become a highly annoying person.
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HOW SHOWING YOUR WORK GETS YOU TOP MARKS IN LIFE, NOT JUST MATH
Show your work. This is undoubtedly my wife’s and my most consistent message to our boys about their math homework. They often cite cruel and unusual punishment as their pushback. (That’ll teach us to educate them on the U.S. Constitution and its Amendments.)
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MIND THE FUEL LIGHT – RECOGNIZE DIFFERENT PERCEPTIONS
At the end of June, my wife, Amy, and I had the opportunity to facilitate a workshop called Across Lines of Difference. In that workshop, we fostered a conversation about improving how we deal with differences in our families, workplaces, churches, and communities. One story that Amy and I shared was from a memorable experience when we learned that the same exact event can illicit two very different responses.
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WHY I DON'T DELETE PEOPLE FROM MY ADDRESS BOOK WHEN THEY DIE
Not long after my mom died, she called me. I about dropped my phone. I was so shocked to see her name on the screen. RING. I miss you so much, Mom. I wish this could really be you. RING. It can’t be you. Somebody else must have your phone!
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RESPECT, UNDERSTAND, AND DEBATE -- GET THE ORDER RIGHT
There are 7,428,901,356 humans alive on planet Earth (plus or minus a few tens of millions). As a collection of people we are radically diverse in every conceivable way: food and financials, generation and gender, politics and pastimes, race and religion, sociality and sexuality. The dimensions of our differences are virtually endless.
Read more...TALKS
RADICAL INCLUSION
Dare to be different. Become a radical includer like Jesus.
Vineyard Church Peoria
October 25, 2020
LIVING IN KINGDOM TENSION
The forces of good and evil are always in tension with one another. How we choose to live in that tension matters.
Vineyard Church Peoria
August 11, 2019
WISDOM FOR CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS
Disagreements can be challenging, but we’re not alone. There are many resources we can draw upon to help us.
Vineyard Church Peoria
June 30, 2019
LEAD ME THROUGH TROUBLING TIMES
When times are tough, we can find solace in unexpected places.
Vineyard Church Peoria
May 27, 2018
RESPECT, UNDERSTAND, DEBATE - GET THE ORDER RIGHT
The importance of building conversations right-side-up, starting with respect, then understanding, building a strong foundation for any debate.
Vineyard Church Peoria
August 13, 2017
KUDOS
Hey Geoff, that relational finger print article you wrote gave me the push I needed to start my Beachbody coaching business (which I am loving and feeling fulfilled in) and I just appreciate that you put this content out there!!
Geoff's keen insights, practical encouragements, and gentle challenges have been consistently helpful to our church family in the number of different venues where he has taught, coached, and preached.
What do you get when you weave together an engineer, a poet, and a musician? You get a clear, deep, and colorful carpet called Geoff Mills. I bear witness and am grateful for the beauty and precision of Geoff's words and message. It is a pleasure to experience what he offers during our quarterly writing retreats at The Seasons.
Hey Geoff, I love the insights you share. They are always insightful, respectful, and needed in today’s world.
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CONTACT
I'd love to hear from you. Whether you'd like to set up a workshop, schedule a speaking engagement, request copyright permissions, or just get in touch.
EMAIL MEABOUT
I am a product development leader for a joint venture between Caterpillar and Trimble. For the past couple decades, I've led highly diverse teams with people from all over the world. We've achieved together what we could never have achieved alone. Over that time, I've also been an active part of the Vineyard church movement in the US. I'm passionate about helping people live their best lives by getting the most from interpersonal differences. I live with my wife, Amy, and our three boys in Peoria, Illinois.
LEARN MORECREDITS
I could never fully express my gratitude to these people who helped me create this site, but more importantly, helped me believe that it was worth doing. It takes a village to do anything worthwhile. And these are the people in my village.
AMANDA SCHETZ :: Making my hair look professional and even well-behaved
AMY MILLS :: Keen design aesthetic and relentless encouragement
BEN HOERR :: Modeling a life of consistent writing and encouraging me in mine
CADEN MILLS :: Hand-drawn iconography and willingness to try new things with me
CHRISTINA ROBERTS :: Coaching that kept me chipping away at my goals, rather than my goals chipping away at me
DALE HEINOLD :: Reaching so many people with his writing and sharing tips and tricks with me
EMILY at STITCH FIX :: Helping me completely revamp my wardrobe to match who I am now (not who I was 20 years ago)
NATHAN PETERSON :: Being all-in with his writing all the time and making me want to do the same
NORM AND SUE ARBUCKLE :: Reading everything I write and telling me what they like and why
RACHEL BEAN PHOTOGRAPHY :: Using her skill with a camera to perfectly capture the essence of what I do
RON AND JEANNIE SEARS :: Hosting quarterly writing retreats at The Seasons Retreat, without which I would not have done much, if any, writing
SAM MANGIERI :: Sam at Fiat Films brings his cinematic story-telling skills to life through the videos we create together
SCOTT SPULER :: Giving me invaluable web consulting and technical support from Onehat